Last night my husband surprised me with a beautiful feather quill pen. He told me that the Lord prompted him to give it to me, letting me know that He (the Lord) had given me the pen of the writer. When I awoke this morning, there it was, beautifully waiting on my nightstand, next to my manuscript. It reminded me of the shift that has taken place inside of me; one I had been longing for.
As I came downstairs, with my new feather pen and manuscript in hand, I realized how truly content and happy I am. It reminded me how drastically different life was only a few years ago, when I had a sense that something inside was dormant, but I didn't know what.
Having been a dancer for my entire life, I've expressed myself, most eloquently, without words. With the movement of my body I was able to convey the deepest of emotions with my entire being. It has, and will always be, a significant part of who I am and how I release my heart when words fail.
Being in ministry for most of my adult life, I've learned that ministry, most importantly, is not standing before the crowd to preach the notes I so diligently put together. It is loving, honoring, and noticing those around me who need a facet of God that I carry. The frustration I've so often felt in ministry, had to do with the fact that unless I was dancing over someone, or reading something I'd written, I struggled to convey God's heart.
When I hit my 40's, I began crying out to God for something more ~ for that part of me which I knew hadn't been awakened, to come alive. My life in Him, in His presence, had been amazing, tender, and satisfying. Yet I knew there was something more He hadn't released in me. Have you felt this way?
It wasn't until one day in Puerto Rico, that the shift began. In my spirit I saw an angel come and give me a gold feathered quill pen. There was much more to the encounter, but little did I know that from that day forward, writing would take on a whole new meaning for me.
How improbable it seemed, to find a new passion, a new way of expressing myself, in my 40's. To be completely honest, I had no idea what I was searching for. Since moving back to the states, the Lord began steadily breathing life into the area of writing. I've written my entire life, but it wasn't until His timing came, that I realized my calling. It wasn't until He chose to take the veil off of what I could so vaguely see, that I was able to give myself fully to it, and find immense contentment in it.
Now my 345 page manuscript of Aegis, my first novel, is sitting by my side. What an amazing feeling!
If there is one thing I have learned through this experience, it is that He knows me, He sees me, and He believes in me.
Perhaps you are feeling discontent with where your life is currently. Perhaps you too sense that God has more for you. If that's the case, let me assure you ~ He does have more! Regardless of age, if we will diligently seek Him for answers, for guidance, for wisdom, and for creativity, He will answer. He will breathe His life into the places that have long felt lifeless.
He knows, you, He sees you, and He believes in you!
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